


Letting Go

by asterismos



Series: tu sei il mio soldatino [1]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Ending, Gen, Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Other, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Post-The Blood of Olympus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-09 07:20:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4339160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asterismos/pseuds/asterismos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nico was dreading the inevitable confrontation following his confession. He had taken every measure to prolong it as much as possible. But, as usual, the Fates seemed to be conspiring against him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> This work contains spoilers for the Heroes of Olympus series (more specifically House of Hades and Blood of Olympus).
> 
> Just a little something I whipped up out of the blue. Enjoy.x
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: panic attack(s)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the Percy Jackson or Heroes of Olympus series nor do I claim to. I do not own the characters either. I only own the words I have written myself. All rights go to Rick Riordan and Disney-Hyperion.

 

"Hey, Nico, can I talk to you for a second?"

Nico froze at the sound of Percy's voice. No amount of training could have prepared him for this very moment. Internally, he had expected it to happen. He'd been dreading it, really, but he knew it was inevitable. It had been about one month since Nico's confession and, while he'd been blessed with confidence to spit it out and not give Percy a chance to get a word in afterwards, that same confidence had disappeared instantly. Afterwards, Nico had avoided the son of Poseidon like the plague — anything to avoid facing the truth of the matter: Nico had a crush on Percy. Was that a bit cowardly? Yeah, it definitely was, but Nico was just way too terrified of having to come to terms with it. Despite everything he'd been through, he just couldn't deal with boy problems.

"Uh, no. I don't know," Nico stammered, avoiding Percy's gaze. Jason, who'd been sitting directly across from him at the Zeus table in the dining hall, rose an eyebrow at him. Nico refused to look at either of them. He couldn't do this. Not now.

"Please?" Percy pleaded. Jason seemed to be studying the other boy with skepticism clear in his eyes.

"What about?" the son of Jupiter asked, which Nico was grateful for. He simply couldn't trust his voice with the son of Poseidon's concerned gaze fixated on him. A year ago, such a thing would've made him blush. He would have thought about how lucky he was to have Percy so worried for him. Now, however, it only affected him because the reasoning was something he never imagined he would have to face.

"Does it matter?" Percy responded exasperatedly. Jason glanced at Nico, who was honestly desperate for some kind of escape. He studied Nico quickly, looking for all signs of discomfort. Nico would have shot him a glance, a sign of what to do, but he was still too frozen in shock. He could only hope Jason's praetor instincts would kick in.

"Yes, it does."

Percy sighed. "Do you know about, uh, _it_?"

At that, Nico let a humorless laugh. He managed to reel in enough pride to glare at Percy.

"' _It_ '? Really? That's what you're calling it? For gods' sake, Percy, he was there when—" Nico tensed, cutting himself off. Percy didn't know about the encounter with Cupid. He didn't want Percy to know about what had happened in Croatia. It wasn't really any of Percy's business anyway and besides, knowing him, if he found out, all Hades would break loose. That was the _last_ thing Nico wanted. It was better than Percy didn't know.

"When what? What happened?" Percy asked curiously.

"Nothing," Nico answered sharply, glancing pleadingly at Jason. Thankfully, the son of Jupiter seemed to get the message.

"Nico doesn't want to talk about it," he said.

"Wait, ' _it_ ' it or just it?"

Nico scowled but didn't dare glance up.

"It doesn't matter. Nico would rather not talk right now." Percy seemed to give up then, because he mumbled something and walked off, shoulders sagging. Nico sighed in relief and glanced up at Jason, who was frowning. Jason, he knew, would defend him to the death but he didn't necessarily agree with all of Nico's decisions. "You know, you can't just avoid it forever."

"Maybe, but I can try," Nico muttered stubbornly, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You should," Jason continued. "I mean, yeah, you confessed, but obviously it's still a dead weight—"

"That's a bad pun."

"—on your chest. You should really talk to him about it. It might make things better."

Nico stared at the half-eaten ribs on his plate. "I know, and I will... I just need time, you know. Just give me time."

 

*     *     *

 

The Fates hated Nico. He wasn't given nearly as much time as he'd have preferred.

It had been about a week after the initial confrontation (you know, the first one after the _very_ first one). Nico was pacing in the woods, on the verge of a panic attack. He was alone. Jason was away on one of his _Pontifex Maximus_ business trips. And here Nico was, in the middle of the North Woods about to have a panic attack with no one to help him. Nico was shaking rather violently and knew his knees would give out any second. The grass and shrubs at his feet withered and turned a sickly shade. The patch began to expand outwards.

Nico needed out, so he took the quickest escape route: he shadow traveled. Immediately, he heard the voices from the rivers of the Underworld, beckoning him to join them. He pressed his hands to his ears to shut them out until he reached his destination. He stumbled out of the darkness and immediately recognized the scent of fresh ocean air. He was in the Poseidon cabin. Nico cursed himself for not picking a place before shadow traveling. Of course his heart brought him here. Of fucking course.

"Hey, Nico, what—" The son of Poseidon had just come in the cabin, shirtless with his t-shirt in his hand. His eyebrows knitted together in concern when he saw the state Nico was in. "Gods, are you alright?"

That's a really stupid fucking question, Nico wanted to say, but his voice wouldn't work. He just shook his head rapidly. Percy made his way over to Nico in two long strides and wrapped his arms around the younger boy without hesitation. The timing was perfect; Nico's knees gave out at that moment. Percy tightened his hold on Nico, practically carrying him. Under normal circumstances, Nico would have jerked away and told him not to touch him but right now, he needed someone to hold him. He wrapped his arms around Percy's neck as a sob shook his already trembling body. His rapid breathing never slowed to make his sobbing easier. He became a mess of tears, choked gasps, and snot. Percy didn't let go of him.

"Hey, it's okay. You're okay. Nothing's going to hurt you." Percy whispered these and more comforting words, as well as comments to take deep breaths. Those breathing comments didn't help but he appreciated the effort because just being in Percy's arms actually was helping. They stayed in that position for what seemed like forever, which no doubt put a strain on the older boy's muscles. Eventually, Nico's sobs calm down to small sniffles and his breathing slows until it's no longer quite hyperventilating and his shaking is hardly noticeable. Nico pulled away from Percy, wiping his face with the back of his hand.

"Thank," Nico hiccuped, "you."

The smile Percy gave him was small but genuine, caring. Nico hated the way his heart did triple back flips at the action. You're over him, remember? his brain said. Yeah. Right. Keep telling yourself that, his heart replied.

"What are friends for?" Then Percy's expression became serious. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Nico looked away. "It was a flashback."

"Tartarus?" Percy asked quietly. Nico cringed at the mere word. Percy took that as a yes. "Personally, I try to avoid talking about that place as much as possible, but we've both been there... I can try to help, try to understand..."

"It was about Akhlys," Nico said. He winced when his voice cracked. Percy grimaced as well.

"I nearly killed her with poison," Percy recalled, his gaze dropping to the floor. Nico didn't trust himself to be standing so he took a seat on Percy's bed, not caring if he minded or not. The older of the two mimicked his action.

"She... she said I was perfect... because I carried so much sorrow and pain..." Nico took a shaky breath. His heart was pounding in his ears. "She knew about it... my crush on you. She was so fascinated. She started talking about everything I'd been through. It sent me into a panic attack. She just watched me. She told me, 'The worst is yet to come, son of Hades.' When I was captured, I thought that was what she meant. But it wasn't that..."

Nico paused. Percy let his head fall on Nico's shoulder. "Keep going. I'm listening."

"While you guys were in... Tartarus... we—Jason and I—a stop in Split... It was in Croatia. We were going to get the scepter of Diocletian. Jason, because Diocletian was a son of Jupiter and me because I was the only one besides Hazel who could use the scepter, but Hazel didn't know the legend behind it. I... I thought I knew what I was doing. We came across Cupid and he—well, he harassed us. He forced me to admit that I liked you and Jason was there. He... He was so nice to me. He found out everything but he was so nice. But I hated it. I hated everything. I was scared and... I couldn't cope—I couldn't stand the fact that someone knew... And—and I just —"

"Hey, hey, calm down. It's alright," Percy said. Nico hadn't realized it but his body had begun to shake again and he was crying again.

"Sorry, this is so pathetic," Nico muttered, wiping his eyes again.

"It's okay. Honestly, I feel really flattered. Someone told me that you called me bravest demigod you'd ever met." Nico blushed, recalling that day. "Nico, you're bravest demigod _I've_ ever met. How can you have a crush on me? If I wasn't straight, I'd have a crush on _you_."

"You have a hero complex," Nico blurted. "And, like I said, you're cute. And I was obsessed with Mythomagic, if you don't remember."

"Man, I'm awesome but I'm not _that_ awesome," Percy said with a laugh. Nico couldn't help but laugh too. Their laughter died down quickly though. "Nico?"

The son of Hades hummed in acknowledgement, his mind racing. Had Percy's hand been on his thigh earlier?

"I still don't get it. I thought you hated me."

"I wanted to," Nico admitted. "I was ten—can you believe that? I wanted to hate you, more than anything. But even after Bianca and... and everything, you still tried to help me. I still had to help you. I still had feelings for you."

"So, what? You just pretended you hated me?"

"Kind of. It wasn't hard. I was really angry. I hated myself. I hated my feelings. So I projected that hatred outwards."

Percy shook his head with a frown. "If I had known—"

"There's nothing you could have done," Nico cut in. "You're in love with Annabeth. And you two are great for each other. It doesn't matter what you could or couldn't have done. There's no use dwelling on the past when you can't change it. I learned that the hard way, Percy."

The older boy grimaced. "Yeah. But listen, I'm sorry. I wish I could've been there for you. But I swear on the Styx, I will be from now on."

"I believe you," Nico said. And, surprisingly enough, he did.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and feedback are very much appreciated. Kudos, too, if you find it fitting. I hope you liked it!
> 
> Also, you should totally check out the novel I'm working on, Beyond the Trees: https://www.wattpad.com/story/75854686-beyond-the-trees-book-one  
> I guarantee you will not regret it.
> 
> All the love,  
> Cass xx


End file.
